Rollercoaster. That’s what my life has become. So many ups and downs. I had an amazing trip to Galveston. I stayed with my best friend, Dianne for a glorious week by the beach! The water was amazing and the weather, so pleasant! I took Mavis along with me and she got to enjoy her very first beach list and could not get enough. She officially loves sand: eating it, tossing it, and covering her bitty body with it! She also is a professional seashell collector and bird chaser. Galveston is such a dog friendly area and I was imagining my future along the coast with my curly-tailed babe. I collected so many sea shells and enjoyed hours at a time on the shore.
Along with the much needed and wonderful getaway, I started talking to a certain someone. At first it was friendly hellos and cute little questionnaires. What started as an interesting chat became so much more. I have found my soulmate. I know this seems sudden and completely out of the blue, but I think when you know, you know and well, I know, at least I’m fairly certain. This man treats me so incredibly and accepts me for all that I am. I’m not an easy package and I know this. How do I say, “Hey, I have a chronic illness and bunch of issues, and I’m sorry, but this is who I am”, and expect another to say “okay, I want you regardless.” Not an easy task to take on and it makes opening up hard, but I did and to my surprise, I was accepted. Chivalry is not dead, I know this to be true now. Caleb treats me with the upmost respect and I feel at peace around him. I think we just connected right away and we have so much in common. I think all my praying and hoping has finally paid off. I’m passionate about our relationship. I think it’s easy to say that this is the one for me. C is already my best friend and I’m not one that easily trusts others, but yet, it’s so natural for me to trust him.
With joy comes pain. My pain has been unbearable lately. The past three days I have basically been bed ridden with severe back pain, debating whether or not to make he emergency room trip. I constantly worry that this is what my life will become: Days at a time suffering. Tomorrow I have a pain clinic appointment to hopefully get this under control. I also got news that I cannot be genetically tested through my health network because they don’t do that type of testing. I basically have to research on my own to get my diagnoses, but I just don’t have the energy or time right now and it’s just a label, isn’t it? If this pain doesn’t subside, I don’t know what I’ll do. I need tomorrow to come so I can see if this pain relief will come.
In other bad news, my finances are quickly diminishing. My parents are divorcing and so their finances are suffering too. I don’t have enough money for classes or even enough to live on hardly. I’m so stressed. I don’t know if I will be able to graduate this May after all, if I don’t have enough money for it. I wish I could change so many things, so many stupid decisions. I have blown through my money. I’m the typical dumb young person. I thought I was ahead by having a savings account, but that can only go so far. I finally was able to make a payment while awaiting my loan to go through, thanks to my dad
One last thing! I’m hosting a fundraiser to help support my living and medical bills. Bravelets are wonderful little bracelets in all different styles that say ‘brave’ to support a cause. They come in a number of different colors, but the featured are some of my favorites: glacier blue, pink, and silver. I hope you love them as much as I do!
So, you may not know this, but Eyes Lips Face, more commonly referred to as e.l.f., released a new skin care line available at Walmart recently, and I was one of the lucky few to get my hands on the trial edition last weekend. I also snagged some night cream from the line, but the cashier I had was a rather old, mean lady that refused to sell it to me because it was not in the system. The cashiers I’ve had previously that came across this problem would simply asked me, “how much did the item cost”, and I would give my answer and then they would simply enter into the cash register that they sold item for such amount. Obviously, this lady wasn’t going to take anybody for their word and said, “well I can’t sell this to you, sorry.” Honestly, even if I tried to debate this, it would literally take forever for some night cream, so I figured to the heck with it!
First off, I like the simplicity of the packaging and the neutral color choice, it just gets across that it’s here to clean your mess of a face up. I have used this now for about two weeks and it makes my face feel fresh and definitely moisturized. My face is baby smooth and I really love that e.l.f. Is a cruelty-free company, so I know that animals are not being tested on for selfish esthetic needs. The price definitely appeals to me as well, as expensive skin care lines beg you to sign up for an automatic reorder (when a trial hasn’t even started). I was hesitant about and illuminating eye cream in the skin routine care, but now I have noticed how my bags are slowly fading and I look much more rested, whether I get the needed rest or not!
My few complaints are that the face wash bottle has a faulty cap that sometimes doesn’t secure properly, leading to spilt dreams. Also, the pump for the moisturizer doesn’t pump the right amount of product very well. I often have to take it off completely. Other than the mechanical set backs, the products are well made and smell great. I can tell a difference in my skin, including the disappearance of dark under bags, a brighter and clearer complexion, and less oil buildup. Overall, I think that this skin line is a definite try.
e.l.f. Skincare Starter Kit:
Daily Face Cleanser, 3.71 fl oz; Daily Hydration Moisturizer, 2.53 fl oz; Illuminating Eye Cream, 0.49 oz
Daily Face Cleanser gently cleanses and hydrates
Illuminating Eye Cream helps moisturize delicate under-eye area
Daily Hydration Moisturizer hydrates and nourishes
So a lot, and I mean a lot, has happened over the past two to three weeks. My life has decided to completely fall apart leaving me in many severed pieces. First off, I’m newly single. Almost a two-year relationship over. I’m a little broken inside, but I will move on. I will find the man of my dreams, who will treat me with the respect and love I deserve. So I moved in with my mom. Lots of boxes, lots of arguing, lots of pain (physical and emotional). My life continues to shred: my computer crapped out, I quit my job due to pain and school, and I had a visit with two doctors, who basically are predicting I will be in pain for the rest of my life. Real peachy, right? So I’m a broken pathetic mess. My hair is now blonde and I’d like to go icy blonde. After your heart is torn into pieces, all you can think about is changing your physical appearance and yourself, so that’s what I’m doing. I have more posts planned, but with no computer and my lovely life, things are a bit delayed. All I can say is in the Fall Out’s likeness, please stand by.
After much thinking and soul searching, I decided to finally take the leap and dye my hair pink! I originally was thinking a pale pink would be gorgeous, but my hair is far too dark to transform that quickly, so with the help from Kaylah from The Dainty Squid’s Hair Master Post (who recommended the hair therapy session mask, placenta leave-in conditioner, and boar brush), I picked out the perfect hair items to achieve my raspberry locks.
It took me about a week to prepare my hair for the bleaching process. My natural hair is curly and a dark brown. I have never entirely bleached my hair and the past experience I have with it, I let a friend ruin the ends of my long hair because she had no idea what she was doing. I almost always go to a stylist recently since I know I am not an expert, but I used to color my hair reds and browns and blacks myself because my hair does not hold color well at all, so I knew I would have to bleach to see any results at all.
The Therapy Session Hair Maskis a deep conditioning treatment that repairs and strengthens dry and damaged hair. Hair is left hydrated, smooth and manageable. KERAVIS PROTEIN – Clinically proven 3X stronger hair. ARGAN OIL – Feeds hair with Vitamins A & E, Omegas 3, 6, 9
The Hask Placenta Super Leave-in Conditioning Treatmentrestores life & lustre to bleached, tinted, damaged & relaxed hair. Instant Hair Conditioning Treatment is excellent for all types of hair that has been abused by the heat of blow dryers, Curling irons, tinting, bleaching, relaxing, frequent shampooing & overexposure to the sun. Works Instantly to restore life & lustre to dry brittle hair. This product is not tested on animals.
Making sure you have time to really give your natural hair some TLC before you bleach is extremely important to prevent major damage and hair breakage, that will just leave you traumatized and your hair beyond repair.
Here are products I recommend you should also acquire for maintaining healthy hair. I use As I Am Naturally Leave-in Conditioner as well to add some extra moisture to my hair and also promote hair growth. I like this product because it doesn’t weight down my hair and make it feel greasy, so I usually put this on after the placenta leave-in, but either way would work.
Here’s my natural dark hair after conditioning treatment, placenta leave-in, and brushing with the boar brush.
As I Am Naturally Leave-in Conditioner, a great leave-in is a vital first step in styling. Smooth it on after cleansing and conditioning. Your finished style will be softer shinier and more manageable. This natural wonder keeps tangles away and provides a great foundation for natural styling. It contains an organic strengthening agent, plus natural ingredients that promote hair growth.
Another great product to try, if you don’t want to use the Eva•NYC Hair Mask, is Davine’s Nounou Nourishing Hair Mask for Dry Hair or Nounou Nourishing Repairing Mask for Dry and Brittle Hair that I use here. They both smell amazing and were recommended to me by a stylist I visited in Austin during a lightening treatment several years back.
Nonou Nourishing Hair Mask for Dry Hair – Nourishing and repairing mask for damaged or very dry hair. ideal for bleached hair, with highlights, perm or relaxed. Its formula is designed to deeply nourish treated hair, it also makes it soft and silky, giving it body. it does not weigh down the hair.
I did one oil treatment and am planning on doing weekly treatments that stimulate hair growth that I discovered from this infographic on pinterest (source unknown). I have read that it is also healthy to massage your scalp with the oil on as well.
Down to the bleaching process. Some people have recommended using the bleach over an oil of some sort to further protect your hair, but I decided not to go with this option. I used Radical Bleach Kit from Beyond the Zone from Sally Beauty as recommended by Kaylah. (They also have a Color Remover if you absolutely HATE your results). On Thursday night I did the test strip. I wanted to give myself plenty of time to complete the full process, so spread the process out over two days. The test strip test tells you how long you need to leave on your bleaching mix without destroying your hair. Although it gives you estimates on the package as you what time is needed for hair colors, check your color every ten minutes, by having a spray bottle of water near by and spraying the bleach off and rubbing with a damp paper towel.
I ended up having to leave mine on for two hours for my test strip as I have very DARK hair, but on the day of bleaching (Friday) I quickly learned that roots are much different than other hair and lightened at a much more rapid pace than expected. I had to remove the bleach from my roots with a spray bottle and paper towel way earlier than expected. So, I recommend your test strip starts from root to tip!
Tips: Avoid getting the bleach on your skin because it will burn. If you use foil, make sure you get BOTH sides of the strands of hair. Use a buddy if at all possible. If you are alone and like it that way, a couple of mirrors might be able to do the trick, but be ready to do touch ups over the next few days. Also, this hair cap look can terrify your dogs, so don’t take it personally. They still love you and your transformation, your hat just is alarming.
Purple Shampoo – purple shampoo is know to take out unwanted yellow and orange tones from bleached hair, although obviously my cheapo ways didn’t help as I tried to borrow some from work for dogs. I am not sure what works the best, but I have heard good things about this brand. Here’s an alternative, I have found, and here is what I used (you can laugh). Smelled good regardless and I knew I was coloring soon, so it didn’t bother me too much. I of course used my hair mask and left it on a bit longer than usual (about 10 minutes) and rinsed well with cold water. It is important to use cold water to rinse your hair, now that it will be bleached and colored to maintain the bright color you desire.
I slept in my newly blonde mixture overnight, to give about twelve hours of relaxing between. I then started my coloring!
Colors: This is totally up to you! Reds? Blues? Greens? You choose! You can get some inspiration from my hairstyle board if you choose to. I don’t recommend Manic Panic as it just does NOT stick to my hair at all and just washes all out, and the cheaper the price, usually the cheaper the quality. I personally chose Punky Colours by Jerome Russell in Flamingo Pink, as recommended by Kaylah as well, to start my color transition. I’ve heard great things about oVertone Haircare products being wonderful, but they are on the more pricy side. I ended up buying the pale pink set, but I returned it, after deciding I may not want to have colored hair for very long as my situation has made an 180º turn around.
I dyed my hair accordingly to the Punky Colour (available at Ulta and Amazon) instructions (15-30 minutes) leaving it on for about 20-25 minutes. The smell was wonderful (like raspberries) and I tried my best to fill in every single hair spot, although I had to go back the next day and re-bleach and re-color a few stranglers. I did however have a not so good “reaction” to the Punky Colour dye. I began feeling sick automatically after applying. I had my epipen near by to make sure my airway would not close up, as I have severe allergies to some spices and certain unknown things. I felt sick to my stomach the entire time it was on my head and I washed it off at 20 minutes after forming a headache. I suffered from a headache the entire day after that, but I don’t know if it would be related to the possible chemicals in the dye or not.
In the end, I loved my outcome! I later bleached my eye brows and dyed them to match my flamingo pink hair, but after some deep consideration, I plan on dyeing them back to my natural hair color because it just is a bit too much for me believe it or not. I have gotten so many compliments on how much my hair is amazing. I work at hair color acceptance place (although surprise!, my two weeks was submitted yesterday, later more to come on this) and absolutely love showing off my unique hairstyles! Also, I have to say I take WAY better care of my hair now then I ever did when it was natural.
Toying with the idea of bleaching my hair and going for a metallic blush hair. Pros? Cons? I would do it myself, which may not be a good idea, but I’ve never had funky colored hair. I think it would be interesting and I think I would love it.
Just a few of our favorite wishes we wanted to share with our pawesome followers. Check out XBOX’s new design laboratory, where you can design your very own custom engraved controller in any color combination you can think of! Also, we recently stumbled across PrideBites: the coolest company that allows you to add your pet’s photo and name to their merchandise which includes dog clothing, placemats, bed, and more! One last thing! We love BarkShop, so many of Mav’s wishes come from there! We hope you like our lists and add some of our picks to yours!
Think about how much you spend on your dog each month. Toys, Treats, Food, and various goodies. If you are thinking you roughly spend $20 or more, then you might want to consider subscribing to BarkBox! I first signed Mavis up for BarkBox back in May after seeing an advertisement for the first month free. I had been getting her treats on a monthly basis as it is, so I figured I might as well try it out. I think it’s safe to say that Mav is a major fan.
When I saw Mavis’s package on the front porch, I squealed with delight and brought it to the kitchen. I immediately got my squirmy little puglet and began opening it for her. Mav could automatically smell the goodies inside, so she anxiously waited to see what delighted her little nose. The second I got the box open, Mavis leaped over and pulled out the Liberty Ball and went to town. Although the photos may look put together, putting the items back in the box to snap a photo proved more difficult than it looks. This pug baby wanted her treats! Each box has a theme and May’s box happened to be The New York Collection that featured adorable toys to fit in.
Mav is absolutely obsessed with her toys. She constantly is playing with them! The treats are also a hit with both her and Eli (my boyfriend’s Pomeranian). She gets a Nature Bit’s Bison treat with every lunch and she absolutely adores them! 10/10 for May’s Box.
This past Saturday, Mav got her second BarkBox: The Great Outdoors. Again she was definitely delighted! The toys were extremely cute and the designs were adorable: a pan of bacon and eggs and a S’more! However, the S’more toy was not well made: the materials are awkward for a dog toy and Mavis has already ripped a whole in it after a day of play. Ironically, the S’more dog toy is under the “Heavy Duty” section in the BarkShop. The pan is cute, but a bit awkward, but Mav doesn’t seem to mind and enjoys squeaking away and trying to take the bacon out of the pan. The Bison Cookout Cookies seem to be a favorite for Mav, but the Mutt Mallows make a big mess and are a bit too oversized for this tiny girl! June’s Barkbox 7/10. We both are excited to see what July’s box will bring! Both Mav and Eli love the treats and can enjoy them all month long before the next batch comes in. Also, if we decide to part ways with BarkBox in the future, we will have our favorites picked out for single purchase!
The tiny house movement has taken the nation by storm and with economic and environment friendly options, it’s no clue as to why. I have definitely spent the past couple of years drooling over the amazing tiny houses that have been produced by talented designers across the U.S. Why are so many people turning to tiny houses as their dream retirement homes? I believe it is because of a few intelligent reasons. Firstly, the house is relatively affordable. You can have the house designed to fit your exact liking using maximize space. Usually these houses can be easily transported to your desired location. Unlike your standard house, tiny houses are often mobile and can essentially travel with you across thousands of miles! Just think, you never have to pack and unpack boxes for moving again if you tire of your surroundings! Most people choose a scenic location to enjoy their small living, but city options are also available. Plus, you won’t have to worry about loud neighbors for long. Another perk of a small house, easy cleanup. If you have a small living space, you automatically will clean after yourself more because you will see your “mess” every day if you don’t. No more wasted hours spring cleaning. You’ll maximize your space with clever storage options that will help effectively tackle your clutter. Although it will initially be a huge downsize in most cases, the space one lives in does not determine happiness; the people you surround yourself and how you respond to circumstances does. The environment friendly houses are decreasing the space that takes to permanently place a house, reducing the “footprint” left on our precious land. Many small houses include eco-friendly appliances and water options to reduce pollution.
I personally, want a tiny house because I often get overwhelmed at the house chores that get piled up and ignored over weeks and weeks. Often we have the “out-of-sight-out-of-mind” living concept, which becomes pretty embarrassing with unexpected visitors. I live with my boyfriend, his brother, and three pets, but I spend about 95+% time in my bedroom alone, which is about 200 square feet, so I already appreciate a cozy living space. Everything you need is close by, which means you don’t have to run across a cold tile floor, half naked, for a midnight snack. A small place is practical for my anxiety as well because I feel comfortable in small space, almost as if it is a blanket wrapping around me. My collections can actually be appreciated on a daily basis and not just displayed in an empty spare bedroom. The temperature also can be easily regulated. Think how economically friendly heating and cooling a small place is, in comparison to a large space. The entire space will actually feel the temperature you are desiring and you won’t feel frustrated with constant temperature adjusting that just never reaches you. I won’t have the panic that I feel when I cannot locate my troublesome hiding kitty cat as I would be able to see him from almost any location in the house!
Of course sacrifices must be made for a small house. Limited space means limited belongings. This includes clothing, shoes, furniture, décor, dvds, etc. Since I am at such a young age right now, I do not have many possessions that I deem necessary to hold on to, so a tiny house might just be the perfect option for someone like me. I also know that I would like to relocate in the future depending on where my career and schooling takes me. My dream location is somewhere around the Washington or Oregon area where I would love to hike in my spare time and enjoy beautiful nature. If you haven’t considered a small house, I definitely think you should consider it an option. Think about living your life practically loan free for permanent housing! If that doesn’t hook you, the previous perks mentioned above might just sway you. I’ve included some tiny houses that I am head over hills in love with. I am especially smitten with shipping container homes too!
Some of my past readers may have noticed that I “revamped” my blog and change a few thing around, but that doesn’t change the fact that this my personal blog and I use it to talk about my struggles with severe depression and anxiety, my Chiari Malformation diagnosis. I think most people are terrified that they are alone and so if this can give my readers a sense of unification or understanding, then my job is done.
So many things have occurred since I last chimed in. First of all, I have a “new” position at the same job as a dog bather. I basically wash and deshed (which is a number of hair removing techniques), brush teeth, clean ears, brush out, remove mats, and give pawdicures to lovely (mostly, although some are plain assholes) little and HUGE doggies. I like this position better because I don’t have to put as much stress on my neck and back as I did as a playroom attendant. I also feel like my job does have purpose. I got to make an adoptee Dalmatian mix all pretty in hopes of getting adopted and a freshly adopted Chow mix a deshed and brush after being severely neglected. My shift hours are also amazing for my chronic pain. I work 10 am – 3:30/4pm, which gives me enough time to sleep in and prepare myself for the shift and also allows me to have time to relax and unwind when I get home. I usually come home and lay on my heat pad for a couple hours. I work Monday-Friday, which is great, as well, because I get the weekend off to spend with my mom, but also having a schedule is good for my depression and anxiety.
I have slacked off a bit in Mav’s training, but we have come LEAPS and BOUNDS since my last post. I had a severe major depression episode and was completely upset after having some really hard personal news hit. I was shaking and wishing that I was not here. I finally let Mavis out and she immediately came over and laid on my upper arm by my face and just stayed still. I didn’t teach this to her at all, but she knew that her mom needed her help. She did so amazing and I felt like all my training had been justified. I also took her with me to a psychologist appointment and she did wonderful! She remembered her blanket commands and sat on her blanket and ignored the door opening! She had little slip ups in the hour long appointment: barking at a plant, falling asleep, and being a little restless. She tooted and snored in the room and my therapist couldn’t help but laugh.
I’ve been trying to cope recently with my chronic pain and anxiety. Today was very difficult in terms of pain. The back of my head had a weird pressure feeling right where my cerebral tonsils are (where my surgical incision is). I also had bad neck and back pain and weird muscle cramping. I thought about asking to go home early, but stuck it out. I got home and used my heat pad for about two hours straight. Tomorrow I am heading to Lubbock for my cousin’s wedding and will be taking my best little pug with me. She won’t be going to the actual wedding because she isn’t that ready to be in public. I get very anxious around event like these. A lot of people make me extremely anxious and then also being judged around family is a worrisome of mine. Hopefully all goes well.