Neurologist.

I finally saw the neurologist today. It was a relief to finally be seen by a doctor who specializes in the field of neurology, which I so desperately needed to see. Dr. P was great. I explained all my symptoms to her and she assured me we would get to the bottom of this. She ordered and MRI to be preformed next week on my head, neck, and spine. I also had blood work to make sure that I don’t have any vitamin deficiencies. I am anxious to have this test done as soon as possible because it is so entirely hard to wait for answers. Until then I have three tests and a lot of busy work. Everything is out of my hands so I just must keep going until I know anything.

Rigidity

This morning I woke up feeling physically drained, despite having slept eight hours, and my head feeling as it were in a fog. Both of my feet, legs, and arms ached with stiffness. My feet in particular were numb on the bottom and tingling around the edges. I tried to massage them to relieve the pain as an older arthritic person would. I flexed and relaxed my knees trying to “wake them up.” I attempted to walk across the room to draw a hot tub in hopes of regaining sensation in my feet and stop the tingling, but it felt like I couldn’t move them. I dragged my legs as best I could until I made it to the bathroom. I got a glass of water and food to see if maybe I was just dehydrated or hungry, but to no avail. I sat in the bathtub as my boyfriend began rubbing my neck and back jolting with electric-like pains. As much as I wanted to cry, I had no tears left as I’ve cried myself to sleep practically every night.

Over the past months I have been experiencing an array of symptoms that have left me downright puzzled and hopeless. I know something is wrong; my intuition tells me so. I have an upcoming appointment with a neurologist on the 21st of September, where hopefully I might gain some insight as to what is going on with my health.I have had chronic pain in my back, neck, and legs especially. In addition to the constant pain, I have had issues with my balance and muscle weakness. I fell last night (shocked by the loss of coordination) and have been jolted off balance daily. I know I am clumsy, but not to the point where every time I stand up, the room is spinning and I start to loose my coordination. I only felt improvement when I began to start moving; forcing myself to drag my feet around.

My most noticeable symptoms, to others at least, is my uncontrollable hand tremors. I have tried testing my blood sugar, thinking I just need to eat. I have gone without caffeine wondering if I just was sensitive. I cannot hold my hands still anymore and it’s beyond frustrating, especially when I am majoring in the field of Biology. I have to keep my hands as still as possible to collect samples through pipetters and sterilely transfer them or make a four quadrant bacterial isolation agar. I have had fellow student make comments that I look like I have Parkinson’s and mimic my motions, not intending to be hurtful, but it did as I have the sensitivity of a hormonal teenager going through puberty.

My cognition problem are even more frustrating as I am constantly saying the wrong word for what I’m thinking. This is not just an occasional slip up… I can’t put my thoughts together when answering and speaking, yet I can perfectly comprehend what others are saying and write/type with ease exactly what I am communicating. I have been having migraines and headaches behind my eyes and the back of my head. My words are beginning to slur together at times and I am putting excessive pauses between my phrases. My emotions have been completely out of control as well, worse than usual. I cry at the drop of the pen and am anxious and depressed most days.

I wanted to start blogging in attempts to jot down my worries, Perhaps my mind will become unclouded and I will be able sleep more soundly. Whatever is ahead for me, I want to document it: a record journal in order to process my pain.

I have theories as to what is going on, but I know that it is not good to worry, so I have put my faith in God that whatever happens, happens and it is out of my control