Self Destruction.

I’ve been struggling lately. In addition to having added intestinal issues including intense stomach cramping, I’ve been having self doubt. I’ve always been over critical of myself. I’m extremely self conscious and constantly am telling myself how fat I am and pointing out every flaw. No matter what size I get down to, it’s not good enough. 

I still remember the girl on the left and the relentless bullying I received as a child. I try my best to act like I’m some tough girl, but I’m not. I’m not happy with the way I look still. I would undergo cosmetic surgery in a heartbeat if I had the money and that in iteslef is just sad. How does one learn self love? I always want to lose another ten pounds and gaining any weight is absolutely discouraging; a pound gain is like I’m killing myself. It makes me disgusted. It makes me feel like I’m undoing everything I worked so hard to lose and maintain. I’m hating myself and I don’t know what I can do to break this or to reverse the damage I do to my own self.


4 thoughts on “Self Destruction.

  1. Oh wow, I’m sorry to hear that you are having such a hard struggle. I am very glad I stumbled across your post. What helped me build my self love was positive affirmations. If you look up Louis Hays on YouTube you will find she has some videos that help boost self esteem. She speaks positive words about you and then you repeat after her. I hope you are able to find peace and build your confidence because you are beautiful in both pictures! BTW, check out our new blog post on a brave girl who struggled with her self image and skin disease and decided to show the world what she looks like. I hope you feel better 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s