Growth.

One of my 2019 goals is to get back into blogging. I miss my platform of self expression! 2018 went incredibly fast in a slow kind of way. I was pregnant for nearly the ENTIRE year and so many changes happened. We moved, Caleb left the Army and we started our new life in Austin, Texas. As you all know we now have a bundle of joy in our lives. Griffin is now seven months old and I can’t tell you HOW FAST it has gone. He is the absolute joy in my life and has given me new meaning.

I have been asked: how do you do it? How do you care for a baby when you have a chronic illness? My answer is this; Griffin is an extension of myself. Therefore, I take care of him like I would myself, only better. He is the reason I smile when I wake up and yes, he has been the reason I have cried multiple times, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I have learned so much in becoming a mother. Patience is a major thing I have to learn to gain. Before my son, I hated waiting. But now it’s a lot of my life. I wait for Griff to fall asleep, I wait for him to eat, I fix my entire schedule to wait on whatever it is that he needs.

I can’t tell you how amazing it is to see my baby. He looks so much like me, but has his daddy’s ears and expressions. He is generally a happy, easy-going baby and he LOVES watching the pugs. He has beautiful amber brown eyes and a lot of hair growing in. He has two little teeth that we brush every night and the cutest dimples to illuminate his smile. He has the softest skin and smells of powder and he loves me with his whole little heart. How lucky am I to have this boy in my life?

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I am a stay at home mother currently which has its ups and downs. I wanted to be here for Griffin’s many firsts and I don’t really trust anyone else to give him the care and compassion that my husband and I do. I love being with him at every moment, but it also leaves me lacking self care. I rarely get a moment to pamper. I generally go makeup less, hair disheveled, and am in my pajamas nearly all day. I have a repetitive cycle of feeding the baby, cleaning the bottles, cleaning the house, pumping, cleaning the pump parts, feeding the baby, and so on. I don’t get much time to “relax” unless I forfeit my house chores or something on my list.

Being a mother is the best job I have ever had. It’s the most challenging and rewarding job I have ever had the pleasure of having. On bad pain days, I push through because my son is number one over anything. Over pain. Over hunger. His needs come first over any of mine or my husband’s and we are both okay with this because he is one of the best things that have ever happened to us. He is my reason.

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To all the mamas out there. YOU are enough. YOU are amazing and you’re doing a great job. Never compare yourself to others because YOU were perfectly made for your baby. There is not a single person who could do a better job than you are doing. (Goes for adoptive moms as well) Your son or daughter was brought into your life because you are the BEST for your baby. Never forget that.

xo,

Cass