Relentless Pain.

I haven’t been feeling well. Part of me struggles with trying to pretend things are okay and that I’m fine, but my back and neck pain are now becoming daily reminders again of the war raging inside my body. After my decompression surgery the back pain receded for a while, but it has come back with a vengeance, as I am going on the second week with continuous pain. On top of that, my knee was dislocated this past Saturday at work (two dogs playing rammed into it from the side). The normal individual with no past history of dislocations would have been just fine, but Cassandra. Odd, abnormal Cassandra. Her knee and ligaments remembered the past and dislocated. The knee is fine now. Practically back to normal, as I used to suffer from frequent kneecap and hip dislocations, I “bounce” back quicker, but now my hips are aching, too. I do think that Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is a likely culprit. I’ve not been diagnosed with it, but I’ve have joint pains, unusual hyper-flexibility, and dislocations for several years. It’s one of those things. I can only be diagnosed with one thing at a time and it’s a long process. Why are diagnoses so important to us, anyways? Maybe it provides us a label for our pain? Perhaps it make our pain “more” real?  Will others accept that we actually do have a condition and are in pain because we are now labeled? I don’t know the answer. I think for me, personally, it’s just knowing there is a reason: it’s not just a medical mystery or the unwarranted “it’s-all-in-her-head” look.

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I went to see my primary doctor today to report my issues (again). I was prescribed some pain medication and advised to see my neurosurgeon again. I’ve been in bed most of the day with a headache and pains. Praying that tomorrow I’ll wake up refreshed for the day.

xo,

Cass

 

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