Tag: Mental Health

Although I ran cross-country in high school (I was the second to slowest runner), I hadn’t really run consistently since 2014. I decided to start back August 2023. I had just gone through a huge trauma in my life. I’ve gone back and forth on whether to share what exactly happened due to the nature of the events and the people involved. In June 2023, I had one of the worst PTSD attacks I’ve experienced in a long time. My symptoms were exasperated and my inner self was drowning in anxiety and depression.

In addition to therapy, I found a way to work through the trauma through running. Every run forced me to be alone with myself and confront the pain and betrayal I felt. I was able to work through this trauma and past ones by focusing on the scenario and making peace of what happened. I started small with my a 5k in October 2023. I slowly worked my way up furthering my distance each time. My first 10k was in April and my first half marathon in June both in 2024. The decision to complete a full marathon was not taken lightly.

I received a sign from the universe to go ahead with my plans when I went to pick up my race packet for the CAP10K run when I won a free entry to the Austin Marathon! This entry was a choose your distance free entry and I decided to wait until after my half marathon to see how my body faired. I started a half marathon training plan after completing the 10k and successfully completed the Red, White, and Blue Half Marathon in McKinney, Texas. After I completed this, I took about a week off and decided to sign up for the full 26.2 miles coming up in February.

I did a lot of research on what training plan would fit best for me. I knew I wanted a bit of a longer plan because I wanted my body to adjust gradually to the mileage. I was used to about 10-13 miles at this point, but it was time to up the long runs. I settled on a 32-week marathon training plan from All About Marathon Training. This plan was the perfect pace for my life load! I adjusted the plan to make my long runs mostly on Saturdays.

Week after week I ran. 4 am wakeups to beat the heat and get it in before I started my daily routine. It took awhile for my body to get used to the mornings as I usually avoided early mornings like the plague. I knew it was temporary for a greater choice. I slowly found out what worked for me and what gear (see below for Amazon recommendations) I had to have to succeed. I found out my favorite running instructors on Peloton along with putting in some serious audiobook hours.

Somedays were rough and required a reschedule, but I knew in my mindset, my goal. I envisioned myself crossing that line at 26.2 miles and being reunited with my family. The people who know the real me know if I set my mind to something, it’s going to happen. I kept training through illnesses, flare-ups, injuries, and all sorts of weather. I made training a priority in my week and made sure it didn’t interfere too much with my home life. I ran super early on Saturdays so I could run before I coached my son’s games and so I could still enjoy a day with my family.

I ran religiously and did not miss one run until December 2024 when I suffered a ligament injury. I knew running with my condition would be tough and that it would put a strain on my joints, but the benefits of muscle building, increased stamina, mental health, and so on seemed to outweigh the risks. On December 7th as apart of Stride and my regularly scheduled training, I completed my longest distance thus far of 21 miles – 18 miles in the morning and my remaining 3 miles at the Festival of Lights run with my family (my son ran the entire way with me! PROUD MAMA moment). This was an all time high! I felt from that moment on, I CAN DO THIS! Unfortunately my celebration came just a tad too early.

On December 21, I felt a stab of pain on my left knee (the one without the MPFL) on one of my runs. I tried to keep running but it was like a shock of electricity shooting throughout it. I hobbled home and rested, iced, and elevated it for a couple days. I was hoping that would be the end of it. My short runs were doable, but my first long run back which was supposed to be 10 miles ended 2 miles early with a long walk home (limpin’ ain’t easy).

That walk home had me feeling all kinds of defeat. I bawled thinking all my hard work was not going to end with a medal, with my end goal of crossing that finish line. I thought this was it. After that injury I made sure to take a couple weeks off which luckily lined up perfectly with the holidays in some weird twist of fate. Not having the pressure to run and spend time with my family was great, but in the back of my mind doubt started creeping in.

I did some research on the pain I was experiencing and decided when I restarted my running plan I would start to tape my injured knee. THIS DID THE TRICK! When I wore the KT Tape (link below!) I was able to go the distance and in relatively a low amount of pain. I would immediately ice after my runs, rest, elevate, and control any swelling with NSAIDs. I was starting to feel like maybe running this marathon was an actual possibility again. Then the dreaded viruses struck.

When my oldest son originally started daycare, I was sick constantly, but I’d like to think I have since acquired some immunity against the nonstop influx of germs. Whelp, whether it was the flu, RSV, or whatever virus, it came with a vengeance. It plagued not only my kids, but had me running a fever, having cold sweats, night sweats, and feeling absolutely horrid. This went on for two week straight. TWO WEEKS. Right when I thought I was over it, I would start a fever again.

I was truly starting to think I should just not show up for the packet pick-up at this point. I was feeling defeated. I am fortunate to have such an amazing support system – my husband, my best friend, and my parents reassured me I had been training this whole time. What’s the worst that could happen? I would not finish in a race I won? I made the choice to just keep going.

I continued my training plan and one week before the race I did my last long run of 10 miles. I was feeling good about it. My knees taped, I took off. However once I hit the main roadway I noticed a man following me. I was hoping I was just being paranoid so I came up with a plan to turn around to see if he did the same. Once I hit the end of the shops I turned around and started back the other way. He did the same. I called my husband immediately to pick me up and thank goodness he was right down the street. It’s not fair women have to be concerned about their safety when they just want to exist. Running has become therapeutic to me and has been my mental safe space, unfortunately it wasn’t my physical safe place.

My tips for training outside include only having one AirPod in, running with Plegium (link below), carrying bear spray and/or a birdie alarm, and I stayed within my subdivision if the sun was not up. I try to get my husband to run with me now so I can have company and feel at peace. If you have a large breed dog to accompany you on the run, that would also be a great idea (my pugs wouldn’t last .25 miles running 😂). Safety is super important as women are killed and attacked during running often. Stay vigilant always and let someone know when you’re going, the route, and when you’re expected to return.

My last week of training I got into a zen place and just felt at peace. I started journaling my manifestations of crossing the finish line as I prepared for the big day. At packet pickup the jitters really kicked in. I was about to run 26.2 miles through Austin! The expo was incredible with lots of goodies to pick up for race day (I won an entry to this race at an expo!). That feeling of getting your bib and gear just makes everything so real.

The night before I laid out all my gear for the next day. I definitely overpacked, but you live and you learn. Don’t make my mistake! See my must haves below and what I wish I would have left at home. I rose bright and early at 5am on race day, grabbed my gear, ate some plain eggos and jumped in the car with my mom who was my chauffeur for the morning drop off. The original plan was she was hoping to see me off, but the parking was insane. If I was going alone, I would have definitely left a tad earlier to secure a spot in a parking garage. I grabbed my gear and ran to my corral.

I should have tried to use the restroom beforehand, but the lines are always insane. Starbucks was packed to the brim of brave runners looking for a caffeine fix before taking off. It was freezing when I arrived which makes it difficult to dress for when running. I was torn with trying to keep warm prior to the run (the cold goes straight to my joints) and minimizing layers. We did our pre-run warmups and made small talk to get the nerves out before starting. The gun time and start of the timer starts the first wave of runner and I was in the third wave, so the time shown when crossing was off by a little over ten minutes.

The route was gorgeous and honestly the best way to view Austin. I made sure I paced myself and mentally put myself in a great place. I had a playlist already made for my half marathon (linked here) and added a few more picks to keep the motivation going. I knew I did not want to stop during the entire run. Personally, stopping for me is an opening for getting too comfortable with walking. I made sure to grab electrolytes and water at almost every hydration station even though I had water in my belt so that I could save it in case I needed water without having a station available.

Every mile marker was a celebration. The best thing about the Austin marathon was the pouring out of support. Spectators had signs, cheered nonstop, and brought all kind of goodies for the runners including liquor! The music, the atmosphere, the views were everything. Once I hit the split for Half finish and Full continue on is when it soaked in I was in for the long haul. The crowd died down at the split, which is when the mental overdrive kicked in. I got to go through my old stomping grounds from when I attended the University of Texas and the nostalgia was full on.

One of the biggest motivators was my best friend and husband cheering me on. I met Heather through Peloton (a bike that literally goes nowhere) and we instantly connected. You know how they say you have a soulmate that comes in the form of a best friend? That’s Heather. I will have to do a later post on the craziness of our connection and how things have celestially lined up. She woke up at the ass crack of dawn (Canadian time) to watch me through the tracking app and send endless encouragement.

My husband had the task of getting the boys gathered up and ready to watch their mama finish this race! At mile 22 the tears started flowing. This journey was so healing for me and I started reminiscing about my reasons why and how hard I worked to meet this goal. As the finish line came closer and closer, I pressed on until I rounded the last corner and saw the Finish Line at last. I began sprinting with all my might. The moment I crossed, my face lit up as the called “CASSANDRA ROBINSON.” 26.2 Miles finished. I limped towards the reunion line after snapping a couple of photos and there I saw my husband and my two boys with a large sign that read “Mama’s First Marathon”! I had done it. I am a marathoner!

For anyone wanting to take on the challenge, know that your mind is your most powerful weapon in completing.

1. Magnetic Portable Charger (for Phone + Apple Watch) – this hands down is my favorite portable charger, it is slightly bulky, but I ran with it and was so glad I had it to charge my devices
2. Lululemon Define Jacket – lightweight jacket perfect for running in cooler weather. One thing I wish I had not done was pack so many layers. I had my long sleeve and two jacket layers along with a beanie (trust me leave the beanie at home and choose one jacket layer!)
3. Sprints Hat – my favorite go-to hat, but I opted to go with the one they gave us at the expo – great fit and lightweight!
4. Portable Wireless Charger (for Apple Watch) – a great option to extend your battery life on your apple watch (my watch ended up dying right before I reached the finish line due to using mile tracking apps -note if you put the theater mode on it can conserve battery) – I should have used this a little earlier than I did! I think you can skip bringing this one with you and go with option 1.
5. Lululemon Wunder Train Hi-Rise Legging – my all time favorite running leggings – smooth like butter – I ran with these during my marathon and absolutely felt so comfortable.
6. LED Reflective Vest – for my early AM runs – not needed for the marathon, but perfect for early or late training days.
7. Slim Portable Charger (for AirPods) – this was for my older style phone (before upgrading) and for my AirPods – I love how slim this charger is in comparison to number 1, but it has an LED charger cord instead of USB-C. Left this one at home and just made sure my airpods were fully charged with one pod in at a time.
8. Smart Pepper Spray – this is such a great option to have for protection – when sprayed it contacts your emergency contacts with your location – for an added subscription you can have emergency services contacted and audio recording initiated. – didn’t take this with me on the run as I felt safe with other runners
9. Purifying Facial Foaming Cleanser – my go-to wash after runs!
10. Glitter Sunscreen – I like to run with a little sparkle
11. Core Power Protein Shake – the perfect post-run recovery snack
12. Strawberry Granola Minis – I love these on the go as extra fuel
13. Precut Kinesiology Tape for Knees – these have been a huge SAVE for my knee and dealing with my runner’s knee injury. I used one on both knees for the marathon and continue to use them for my left knee.
14. Glide Gift Set Anti Chafing Sticks – a must have for lower tummy, thighs, and lubricating the toes
15. Zero Sugar Electrolytes – these are the perfect on the go electrolyte mix
16. Sugar Free Low Calorie Energy Drinks (Pink Slush) – my all time favorite energy drink flavor
17. Sugar Free Low Calorie Energy Drinks (Cherry Slush) – second runner up!
18. Energy Gel Variety Pack – these taste like honey and have the same consistency which is great if you are not a fan of the puree texture
19. Hydration Running Belt – I used this for my marathon for extra water and storing some of my essentials
20. HOKA Clifton 9 Women’s Road Running Shoes – my marathon shoe pick – make sure to have your feet scanned to get the perfect fit!
21. Toe Socks – these have been my favorite socks! I went through a lot of different styles and decided to try these out after I saw Susie Chan wearing some and I am hooked (they are surprisingly comfortable)
22. Moleskin Blister Prevention Pads – these were great for my big toes and trying to prevent blisters in between them.

Remember: When your legs get tired, run with your heart.

XO,

Cass