Tag: mcad

What’s In My Bag?

Cass1 Comment

As promised to my instagram followers, here is my What’s In My Bag? Spoonie Edition! As a sufferer of multiple chronic illnesses, it is most important that when I venture from the comfort of my own home that I bring certain essentials to help me survive the cold, harsh world ( a little dramatic, I know). Above are just a few items that are my necessities for a successful outing; one that I can manage pain for the most part and have everything I could possibly need for a spoonie emergency.

My Bag: Mossimo Supply Co. miniature backpack from a while back

What’s In My Bag?

For pain:

  • Mylan Lidocaine Patch 5%: I use these pain patches for my lower back, where my nerve pain drives me crazy at times. Although, I don’t use these everyday, when I do they tend to numb the area slightly enough to provide a little relief from relentless nerve pain.
    • “Mylan Lidocaine Patch 5% is a prescription medicine used to relieve the pain of post-herpetic neuralgia, also referred to as after-shingles pain.”
  • Real Time Pain Relief© – Pain Relief Lotion: I discovered this analgesic for muscle pain and more in the exchange at a booth and I actually really like this formula in comparison with brands such as Icy Hot and BioFreeze because it has a low menthol percentage. Menthol seem to have a rough effect on my skin leading to a burning-like sensation, so I was happy to find a natural pain cream that smells good and doesn’t hurt!
    • “Real Time DAILY Relief Lotion offers hydrating moisture for your skin with Homeopathic benefits. Made with 15 of Nature’s Ingredients including Aloe Vera, Arnica, and Nutmeg, Real Time DAILY Relief nourishes the skin while relieving stiffness and pain. It supports the regenerative processes of your body and provides the relief you need on the daily. With a fast absorbing formula, invigorating light-menthol feel, and great smell, Real Time DAILY Relief is perfect for everyday use!”
  • Pain Management Medications: Dicyclomine used for IBS related symptoms such as severe stomach pain and diarrhea, Tramadol my prescribed pain medication, I’ve been taking since 2015 to help manage my chronic back and neck pain, Methocarbamol – to help with muscle spasms (back), & Zomig, my migraine medicine that I have found myself using weekly.
  • Advil: I try to limit the NSAIDS I take, but just in case the prescribed combination isn’t doing it

For Reactions:

  • Mylan Epinephrine Auto-Injectors (EpiPen®): I have been administered epinephrine three times (one in hospital, two in clinic) due to anaphylaxis and near-anaphylaxis symptoms, so keeping these bad boys on me at all times can be a lifesaver for my reactions.
  • Allergy Relief – diphenhydramine (aka Benadryl): I never know when I am going to have a mast cell reaction. Since being diagnosed with MCAD (mast cell activation disorder), I have weekly reactions that results in severe hives, diarrhea and intentional upset, and can sometimes even lead to breathing difficulties.

For Beauty:

  • Go-To Skincare Very Useful Face Cream: I got this product in my Be Kind To One Another Box (BKTOAB) from Cass and I love how light and refreshing the formula is. It makes a perfect base before applying foundation and leaves my skin feeling gorgeous!
    • “This is face cream that is as much about anti-oxidants as it is moisturisation, because anti-oxidants are just as important. They stop free radicals (found in UV rays, smoking, environmental pollutants, toxins) attacking your skin, which is the main cause of ageing in the shape of wrinkles, loss of skin elasticity and suppleness. And since we get 50-80% of our free radical damage before we turn 21, there’s good reason to be incorporating anti-oxidants into your skin care as early as possible, (and for as long as possible.)”
  • Wet n Wild CoverAll Créme Foundation: Finding the fight foundation has been a long time problem for women. What’s the right shade? How much coverage do you get? Does the foundation fade? Is it matte or sticky? So many questions and so many foundations tried and this one has been a favorite; It’s cruelty free, light on my face (not super heavy like Kat Von D’s Lock It Foundation), and covers/blends well. With it being super affordable, it’s definitely worth a try!
    • “Acne scars? Dark spots? Under eye circles? We’ve got you covered! Our cream foundation does it all. This cream makeup blends seamlessly for all-day wear, and its flawless, lightweight formula provides buildable, medium-to-full coverage that evens out skin tone and conceals imperfections. Absorbing powders rid excess oils on the skin’s surface, leaving behind a soft, satin-matte finish. Contains VisiBright™ Technology: a skin-perfecting complex that reduces the appearance of wrinkles and dark spots, while hydrating skin’s natural collagen for a rejuvenating lift.”
  • Oil & Wind Silicone Beauty Applicator: I previously was using a Beauty blender, but was annoyed at the time it took to clean, the breaking of the sponge, and the amount of product wasted. This Silicone applicator has completely fixed all those problems! It’s extremely easy to use and doesn’t absorb any of the product! This ultimately saves money and is less messy! (Also doesn’t irritate my skin like the BB has in the past)
  • e.l.f. Bronzer – I’m very much in to bronzy looks, so this palette was a steal at only $4! It has made its way into my everyday makeup look.
    • “This bronzer creates a healthy looking glow all year round! The sheer soft powders provide the perfect hue of color. Blend all 4 colors together to achieve a blend of perfection or choose your favorite color.”
  • BH Cosmetics – Flat Top Buffing Brush: I got this wonderful set for Christmas last year and I love these brushes, plus they are cruelty free, which is a must!
    • “Professional makeup artists and beauty mavens will appreciate our Sculpt and Blend 2 – 10 Piece Makeup Brush Set. With face and eye brushes, the versatile collection was designed for use with liquids, creams, and powders. The full range of dual-fiber cosmetics brushes tackles a wide variety of application needs, from applying blush, bronzer, and powder to lining, defining, blending, and smudging to achieve a flawless look. Cruelty Free Synthetic Duo Fiber Brushes”
  • Natural Mineral Blush by Dusty Girls: in Golden Delicious – This was a BKTOAB item from Australia that I absolutely fell in love with. It has been my favorite all time blush that I have ever tried. The blush is really pigmented and perfect for my olive skin tone!
    • “Softly contour your cheeks with this versatile shade for a flawless, matte finish. Pressed with a blend of gold and terracotta tones to brighten your smile and enhance your complexion.”
  • Brow Wiz® by Anastasia Beverly Hills: I have extremely thin brows, so filling them in is something I like to do for a confidence booster. This has been my favorite brow product thus far, although the wand broke over time, but at least the pencil still is perfect. I had to go to the website to learn how to properly apply the Brow Wiz to get the perfect brows.
    • “An award-winning ultra-slim, retractable pencil that creates precise, hair-like strokes. Use Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz®‘s fine tip to spot-fill areas where brow hair is sparse, and the custom spooley end to blend for a flawless finish.”
  • Better than Sex Waterproof Mascara: I discovered this mascara right before my engagement in October of last year and have loved it ever since. This mascara makes my lashes look so amazing and it truly is tear proof!
    • “Go ahead and cry happy tears, Better Than Sex Mascara is now WATERPROOF! Our iconic hourglass-shaped brush unlocks the volumizing formula that thickens, lengthens and curls for the most extreme, mind-blowing lashes. One coat and lashes are full, defined, and stretched to unbelievable lengths. Two coats and lashes look even more luscious, curled, and dramatic. Three coats and you’ve achieved the most intense, voluminous, waterproof lashes possible!”
  • Anderson Lilley Sicilian Tangerine Beach Butter Body Cream: I absolutely love this lotion! I got this wonderful body cream in my first FunFitFab box I ordered last year and this product has been one of my favorites, but being honest, everything in the box was pure gold!
    • “On a walk through the Sicilian countryside we came across a grove of tangerines that inspired us for this mouth watering fragrance.  Juicy citrus, fragrant blooms, Mt. Etna in the background and a warm summer breeze all around us. Tangerine, mandarin, peach, bergamot, jasmine, mango, black currant, musk, vanilla.”

Everyone Needs These:

  • Guess Sunnies: My dad bought me these on sale at the exchange and they’re perfect for protecting my baby blues.
  • Hurraw! Lip Balm in Vanilla Orange: Another BKTOAB perk! I love this lip balm because it is so smooth and smells wonderful.
  • Michael Kors Wallet: a tiny little wallet, but within lies my whole life in card forms.
  • Spare Change: for those 99 cent deals that charging the card is out of line.

Just in Case:

  • Everyday Good Emoji Bandage: I love these little bandages that Cass sent my in my Be Kind To One Another Box earlier this month. I have adhesive allergies, so these bandages are perfect for sensitive skin and their good for the environment too!
    •  “Just like the Nude range, our Emoji Biodegradable Bandages break down in 2 years and decompose completely in around 4. They’re made using 15% recycled materials and the packaging was carefully sourced to be 100% from recycled material. It’s end to end as sustainable as we could find!”
  • Fresh Nap Towlette: one word: germs.
  • Little Buddha: I bought this little guy back in 2012 on Spring Break in New York City (China Town) and since then he’s kind of my lucky little charm that I bring with me when I take my college tests a few years now. He’s even made it through being sucked up in the vacuum, so I’d say he’s pretty lucky.
  • Diet Coke: Although I am now limiting my addiction, I still indulge in a couple of precious fluid ounces of Diet Coke a day. No, Coke Zero is not the same nor better.
  • Extra Hair Ties: I never know when my hair will act up becoming unmanageable or I have had several ties actually break while in my hair (thick hair problems)

I hope everyone has a great final week in April! It’s definitely been a rough couple of days this past week, but I am trying to keep pushing forward. I am most eager to graduate on May 19th and to finally be rid of my undergraduate campus! So close, yet so far.

Xoxo,

Cass

Paresthesia.

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Another day, another attack. I started this past Wednesday thinking it would be an average, uneventful day, as most “hump days” are; Mid-way through my cell biology laboratory, I soon realized that this would not be the case. My episode initiated with me having an extremely difficult time concentrating: I tried my hardest to stay on task, but simply could not focus. I read the same line again and again, but couldn’t comprehend its meaning. My chin began to feel numb with a dull burning feeling (paresthesia) that quickly spread to my entire face and head. It’s relatable to the feeling I get when my foot “falls asleep.” 

I went to the bathroom to examine myself, thinking it could possibly be an allergic reaction (my face sometimes feels hot and numb-ish during a reaction), but my face looked normal with some minor flushing. I became confused and tried to fight the urge to cry as anxiety flooded over me. I returned to class, asking my teacher how much time remained on our experiments. He told me that they would take the whole alotted time because we were fitting two experiments into one lab session. I expressed to him that I wasn’t feeling good and needed to make a phone call; luckily my teacher has a little knowlede about my health problems and therefore is most understanding with my condition and needing to take breaks. 

I called my dad,  a nurse of over twenty years of experience, and explained to him what was going on. I began to cry stating that I didn’t feel right and explaining my reoccurring symptoms. I began to feel faint. My dad thought it could be a possible allergic reaction or an anxiety attack, but I didn’t feel panicked. My breathing and pulse seemed too slow (to me), feeling as if I wasn’t receiving enough blood to my head. I splashed water on my face, took deep breaths, and went back into the laboratory to grab a snack and water from my bag. At this point I had red splotches on my face and chest from being stressed (my mast cell activation disorder causes me to break out during stressful situations and hormonal changes). 

I apparently looked unwell as I was greeted with a face of concern. I felt like I was going to pass out and told my instructor. He instantly became  worried and left the lab with me, asking me to sit down while he called the principal of our campus. He asked me if I needed an ambulance and I told him no, although now I wish I had just gone to the emergency room, given the insight I have now. He didn’t know what to do and was told to call campus police so that they could make sure I was okay and help escort me. I had called my mom and asked her to come get me, although I was hesitant because I didn’t know if this was going to pass soon or not and I hate to miss out on classes and labs. The police were most kind; they got my information, talked to my mom on the phone, giving her directions, and they escorted me to the lower level of the building, carrying my bags. I continued to have a hard time concentrating and I was taking awhile to answer easy questions, as my thoughts slowly gathered. I began having an intense pain at the base of my skull, almost as if I had a headache or migraine in that location, and prayed that this episode would pass soon. 

My mom was finally able to pick me up and drop me off at her house (I live an hour and a half away) making sure I had lunch, a drink, and comfort before heading back to work. I continued to feel strange until I fell asleep; when I awoke an hour later I felt better, but  pretty drowsy and fatigued, exhausted from this ordeal. I fell back asleep for another couple of hours until my mom came home from work and drove me back up to the campus to retrieve my car and drive home. This attack was similar to my episode a couple of weeks ago, except my heart felt like it was beaming and operating too slowly, instead of rapidly. I am puzzled as to what the source of these episodes is.  

I wrote a message to my primary doctor the following morning describing my strange and frightening day. He returned my phone call a couple hours later, expressing the upmost concern. Firstly, after I explained everything, he has become increasingly convinced these attacks are related to some type of heart arrhythmia or malfunction. I have contacted cardiology and have an appointment to be fitted to wear a heart monitor for a couple of weeks in hopes of “catching” one of these episodes. The hope is that we can identify what’s triggering these symptoms I’m feeling and how we can manage them. He then proceeded to inform me that my stool sample results came back and indicated a high level of lymphocytes (white blood cells) in my stool with negative cultures, an indication of many different things that need to be addressed urgently. He advised me to schedule a gastrointerogy appointment as soon as possible to have some more testing.

 It’s been a hectic couple of weeks with the girls (Mavis & Eleven) and myself being sick. I’m praying that things improve and that I can get some answers to this challenging puzzle! I additionally met with my new allergy specialist on Thursday afernoon, who ordered an array of blood tests to see what my mast cell levels looked like and if I have a spice-related allergens. He scheduled me to return to have a skin test performed that indicates whether I have an allergy to certain foods. He wants to test for mastocytosis and create a more efficient treatment plan (clearly what I’m doing currently is NOT working). In addition to my appointment with cardiology next week, I also meet with my new pain management specialist with hopes of managing my increasing nerve pain. 

Trying to tackle everything one by one.

Much love,

Cass

Chronic Pain Confessions

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If you haven’t visited Amanda’s blog: Everything Hurts, you definitely should. Her latest post has to do with her confessions dealing with chronic pain. I decided to follow suit using her amazing crafted and perfect icons to lead the way.

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I have struggled most of my life with emotional pain, but I didn’t have to deal with constant physical pain until I began showing symptoms of Chiari. I try my absolute best to pretend I’m completely healthy and put together, but I am fighting every day. Today I had severe back pain. I was at work doing my best to make sure it wasn’t noticible that I was in pain. I kept counting down the hours until I got off. Every time I bent down (when working with dogs, that is very often) I felt a jolt down my back. When standing, I felt a constant almost “buzzing” pain that feels like when you sit on your foot too long and it falls asleep, but you continue trying to walk on it mixed with a Charlie horse cramp. I finally closed the playroom down and put all the dogs in their crates for nap time. I looked at the clock, so eager to head out, but I had an hour left. I was assigned to take the grooming dogs out to potty. Every time I made it outside, I leaned against the wall crouched down with deep breathing (like a pregnant lady in labor), while the pups did their business.

I hide my pain. I don’t like telling my parents because I’m afraid they’ll discredit it. They have supported me through everything, but they also think that this surgery is an instant cure all solution and I am afraid to disappoint them.

I’m tired of saying I don’t feel well or my neck is killing me and then having to hear the “maybe it’s the insert some common bug/virus” or “muscle strains suck.”

I’m tired of feeling depressed. I try my best to do the right thing for my mental health, but I get anxious about how others perceive me. Do they think I look fat? Do they think I’m dressed sloppily? Do I look happy?  I have a chemical imbalance and no medication I have taken has made things bearable for a continued period. Getting more exercise, eating gluten free, or trying said homeopathic solution isn’t going to work for me (that’s not to say it won’t work for others).

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I have a very physical job. I am constantly moving. I feel like it is enough for me, but I want to do more. I want to be that fit BBG girl that looks super cute and they love to work out (or make it look like that) and that it’s super easy. Or that cool yoga chick that has trendy workout gear they actually work out and not just to lounge in.

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I’ve had five surgeries since birth, but all my scars are hidden and people can’t see the pain I have had to endure. Every single day is different. Some days I miraculously don’t have any physical pain. Then there are days which I call “spoon days,” like today, where I wake up in pain. My back jolts, my neck aches, my muscles hurt, and no I didn’t exercise the day before. Most days are in between these two. I’m excited to have Mavis trained as a service dog, but am nervous about how people will perceive me. Will they think I am a sham trying to pass off a cute pooch as a service dog just so I can take her into places? (Hello anxiety, dear old demon).

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I always have used food as a coping mechanism, which is why I was so overweight (obese, actually) as a child and in my teens. It will most likely always be a love/hate relationship because now I have IBS (although not confirmed and I don’t think it is, I think it’s just MCAD) and MCAD to deal with, which makes foods scary for me. Foods that I have never had a reaction too, suddenly make my mast cells react for no reason. I can eat that same food and have nothing wrong the next time. I have “plumbing” issues and often get sick from eating different foods. Yet, I have my junk food weaknesses, like most people do. (SourPunch Straws and Sonic are my guilty pleasures) Why do I feel Diet Coke is a necessity (I cannot have high sugar amounts because I get deathly ill, no I don’t know why, but 30g of sugar is my limit, so Diet is the only soda I can have, yes I know the “real” soda might as well be better, but soda is bad regardless, and here I go again, thinking too much of what other people think about my habits)?

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This post wasn’t an easy one to write, but I’m glad I did. Working towards self love and a happy or manageable lifestyle.

If anybody who reads this has good tips on managing anxiety, let me know. I’m willing to try anything: like blogging for example, getting my thoughts out via the world wide web. Only a handful of people will most likely read this and I’m good with that.

xo,

Cass

(image and icons from Amanda Vinci, everythinghurts.me)